A dear friend of mine has been having some relationship struggles. As she navigated through rough waters last week she kept coming back to her past hurts during the times that she communicated with me via phone and text. “…but he WASN’T thinking of my needs…, I WAS hurting too and he KNEW it but DID NOT soothe me with the words that I WANTED and NEEDED to hear,… I feel like I NEED to tell him how inconsiderate he WAS in regards to my feelings…”
I do not write these words to lessen my friend’s experiences and feelings but rather to share as a teaching opportunity for us all, including myself. As she and I spoke several times throughout the past few days it was a chance for me to take a look at my life, actions, and words in my relationships as well. Our past experiences can both cause and resurface wounds to our egos which we most often don’t want to easily let go of.
Our egos (which are really just our thoughts about ourselves, others and things) like to stay in control. Like to be right and do not like to be threatened in any way, shape or form. The ego judges, shames, blames, insults and will do whatever it takes to keep us safe from what it perceives as a threat.
The ego is only a veil that shrouds the soul state, which is our true nature, what is constant when all else fades away. The soul state is nothing but pure and unconditional love, beauty, wholeness, joy and inner-peace. We can only access our true self when we are mindful and present; consciously aware of our actions, words and deeds. It is not easy and takes practice to keep coming back to and living from this place, which resides within the present moment. Being in the present moment is the ONLY place that is our reality. It is not what has happened in the past, nor is our reality happening in the future. In order for us to avoid suffering it is truly the only place and space to keep coming back to.
We live our lives and emit a higher vibrational frequency out into this world when we are living from our soul state verses the ego state. Until we drop out of the mind/ego state, into the space of presence, we are caught up in the hurts of what is no longer present (our past), and/or what has not even happened yet (the future). The practices of meditation, mindfulness and gratitude are where we live from our soul, the place where we continuously raise our vibrations from.
I encourage all of you who might be struggling with your own past hurts, insults, traumas, or fears and worries about your future to STOP, take a deep breath. Slow down. Find something in this very moment to focus your entire being on that brings you joy, and hit repeat to come to this place again, and again and again.
So together, that is what my friend and I did. We paused. We breathed. We allowed our minds to quiet and judgements to fall away. We focused on the beauty, the love and support that those we are in relations with give us, allowing lightness and brightness to emerge again as we returned back to our soul states.
This is how we change the world to become a place of beauty and peace. It starts from within and it starts in each and in every moment that we have. We are all gifted with this birthright, this truth and this power.
May love and light fill your hearts and guide you on your journeys.
Peace and Blessings,
Diane
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